Well... I decided to start a blog to get the many things off my mind. Lets start by covering what led to how I feel today...
Many things have happen over the last couple months but I will review last weeks events. I made decision last week that yesterday will be my first day of dieting. I made this decision for myself and to feel better about me me. I have been feeling a little down in the dumps. Last week I tried many ways to snap out of it... wearing make up, listening to up beat music, talking to old friends... etc... nothing seemed to work. So, I made the decision to work on me. My diet was to start June 21st (yesterday). During the week I joked about eating and tried to leave my conversations light and happy but really deep down I was not feeling it. Oh yeah... i forgot to mention how during the week someone who I thought was really close to me (i thought understood me) kept making fun of me and telling me cruel things about how ugly I look in make up and to "wash off my war paint". Of course it did hurt. Over the weekend, I got into an argument with that same friend. Of course the person proceeded to tell me how fat I am. It hurt, but hey the truth hurts. The only thing I can do is work on my weight. I am sorry but I cannot fix ugly... not even on myself.
So yesterday started my diet. I got up early to get ready for work. Forgot to pack my breakfast. Not a good start to my day. It turned out that I really had to appetite to eat anyways. I snacked on my carrots, had a bowl of soup for lunch followed by a bowl of soup for dinner. Nothing special, just light and refreshing soup. My girlfriend Lisa, has been my biggest supporter since I made my decision to lose weight. She has checked up on me every day since I told her I wanted to do this. We agreed to be there for each other especially as I start my journey to a smaller waist. You know, I can come to rely on her texts and her words or wisdom to get me through.
Today, I was feeling a little down about this diet. I stepped on the scare and I was heavier then I started yesterday. I put that feeling aside and drank my breakfast shake and took my supplement. Got ready for my day of work and guess what happened...
So, I get to work today to discover I left my snack at home in the fridge. I was not very happy with it but I decided that I will drink more water and hopefully trick my body to think I was "full". My co-worker today offered me some beef jerky as a snack. It is the small things like this that make a difference. Knowing I am trying to do this, I was offered something that would help me stay on the right path. For lunch, I had a salad with almost no dressing. Even though it had almost no dressing it still tasted pretty good. Tonight, I had a couple bites of fruit for dinner because I was not feeling hungry at all. I stepped on the scale this evening and guess what... I was one pound lighter than when I weighed in yesterday. What a good end to my day.
So... since yesterday I have been posting my diet status on Facebook. That is why I decided to start a blog.. to track my feelings, my accomplishments and my failures as I struggle to get through this fat phase I am in...
Maybe some day my friends will no longer see me as the fat and ugly friend...
