Many things have happen over the last couple months but I will review last weeks events. I made decision last week that yesterday will be my first day of dieting. I made this decision for myself and to feel better about me me. I have been feeling a little down in the dumps. Last week I tried many ways to snap out of it... wearing make up, listening to up beat music, talking to old friends... etc... nothing seemed to work. So, I made the decision to work on me. My diet was to start June 21st (yesterday). During the week I joked about eating and tried to leave my conversations light and happy but really deep down I was not feeling it. Oh yeah... i forgot to mention how during the week someone who I thought was really close to me (i thought understood me) kept making fun of me and telling me cruel things about how ugly I look in make up and to "wash off my war paint". Of course it did hurt. Over the weekend, I got into an argument with that same friend. Of course the person proceeded to tell me how fat I am. It hurt, but hey the truth hurts. The only thing I can do is work on my weight. I am sorry but I cannot fix ugly... not even on myself.
So yesterday started my diet. I got up early to get ready for work. Forgot to pack my breakfast. Not a good start to my day. It turned out that I really had to appetite to eat anyways. I snacked on my carrots, had a bowl of soup for lunch followed by a bowl of soup for dinner. Nothing special, just light and refreshing soup. My girlfriend Lisa, has been my biggest supporter since I made my decision to lose weight. She has checked up on me every day since I told her I wanted to do this. We agreed to be there for each other especially as I start my journey to a smaller waist. You know, I can come to rely on her texts and her words or wisdom to get me through.
Today, I was feeling a little down about this diet. I stepped on the scare and I was heavier then I started yesterday. I put that feeling aside and drank my breakfast shake and took my supplement. Got ready for my day of work and guess what happened...
So, I get to work today to discover I left my snack at home in the fridge. I was not very happy with it but I decided that I will drink more water and hopefully trick my body to think I was "full". My co-worker today offered me some beef jerky as a snack. It is the small things like this that make a difference. Knowing I am trying to do this, I was offered something that would help me stay on the right path. For lunch, I had a salad with almost no dressing. Even though it had almost no dressing it still tasted pretty good. Tonight, I had a couple bites of fruit for dinner because I was not feeling hungry at all. I stepped on the scale this evening and guess what... I was one pound lighter than when I weighed in yesterday. What a good end to my day.
So... since yesterday I have been posting my diet status on Facebook. That is why I decided to start a blog.. to track my feelings, my accomplishments and my failures as I struggle to get through this fat phase I am in...
Maybe some day my friends will no longer see me as the fat and ugly friend...
People can be so rude. Even those who we thought were our biggest cheerleaders beat us down... show everyone wrong by stickin to your plan! I need to diet too... We can do a long distance diet together :)
ReplyDeleteStephanie:
ReplyDeleteA "friend" sees you as a valuable and beautiful addition to their lives -- not as a "fat and ugly person." I say "screw the friend" because NO ONE needs people like that in their lives. True, the truth hurts sometimes, but the difference is whether it's said with the intention of hurting or helping.
I'm with Tash... let's do this together. I'm down three pounds (since you started, so not doing nearly as well as you are)! YAY, US!!!